Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: Why It Matters and How to Squeeze it into Motherhood
Motherhood is often painted in extremes—either idealized and beautiful or completely overwhelming and thankless. In the middle of it all, it’s easy to lose sight of yourself let alone prioritize yourself.
Self-care is one of those phrases that can feel both overused and out of reach. It’s easy to associate it with spa days or that elusive me-time that feels impossible to come by. But at its core, self-care isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. Self-care can look very different for different people but regardless of the strategy, it isn’t about indulgence—it’s about preservation. It’s about tending to yourself with the same care and compassion you offer to your child.
Why Self-Care Matters—Especially in Parenthood
Caring for a child is all-consuming. It’s emotional labor, invisible work, physical exhaustion, and constant decision-making. And yet, because parenting is such a common experience, the emotional toll it takes is often minimized. You're expected to "just know" what to do and "just keep going," even when your needs are quietly screaming for attention.
The truth is: You matter, too. Your nervous system, your rest, your sense of self, your joy. These aren’t luxuries—they’re essential. When you care for yourself, you model emotional wellness for your child. You offer them the gift of a parent who is recharged, more present, and more in tune with themselves.
Redefining Self-Care
Self-care doesn’t need to be elaborate or an unrealistic commitment of your time. Maybe it isn’t realistic for you to arrange for childcare to have a night out or to devote an entire day to the spa. When we think that it is ….. we are not likely to prioritize it. Opportunities to do something for ourselves show up everyday in ways that you may not expect. It’s important to take those small pauses that remind you you’re human, not just someone’s parent.
Self-care can look like:
Saying no when something drains your already stretched energy.
Drinking water before your coffee.
Taking a slow, conscious breath before responding.
Asking for help without guilt.
Letting one thing stay undone on purpose.
Naming your feelings without rushing to fix them.
Listening to your needs and trusting they matter.
How to Begin When It Feels Like There’s No Time
Start small. Start honest. And start with kindness.
Check in with yourself: What do I need right now—physically, emotionally, mentally?
Lower the bar: What’s one thing I can let go of today?
Build it in, not on: Can I pair something nurturing with something I already do (like stretching while brushing teeth)?
Set a gentle boundary: What’s one thing I can say no to in order to protect my energy?
Receive support: Not just practical help—but emotional support too. You don’t have to hold it all.
You Are Worth Caring For
It’s okay to not have it all figured out. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to need rest, quiet, connection, or space. None of these needs make you a lesser parent. They make you a human-being.
You already hold the capacity to nurture deeply. You do so for others. You deserve to be nurtured too.
Start now and utilize my 30-day Self-Care calendar!